You can't change what you don't know.  when you know more about your own history and how it has impacted you.... When you understand your own personality, how you are uniquely wired.... When you start to gain an understanding of why you behave the way you do,explore the beliefs you hold onto about yourself, others, the world, that may not be can start to make changes in patterns of behavior and thought that move you in the dirction of of transformation.