I know where my help comes from
I lift up my eyes to the hills-- where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. Psalm 121:1
It's hard for many people to ask for help these days. We live in a culture that highly values self sufficiency. We live with a mistaken belief that we are indeed independent. But almost everything we rely on was created by others. And even the food we eat and the air we breath is a blessing from God Himself. If we can delude ourselves into believing that we have the purchasing power, the physical or mental power to meet our own needs, we can become more and more fearful of our own sense of dependence.
But the truth is...we are dependent, we are vulnerable, fragile even in truth.... helpless to create the next moment for ourselves. Some of us do dependency better than others. There are those who can swing the pendulum clear in the other direction from self sufficiency to thriving in a state of utter dependency. That may be based in early childhood experiences of having autonomy thwarted. The way to attach to others, to not be abandoned may be rooted in the sacrifice of agency.
But that mid ground, (and I believe health is usually found in the middle of two extremes) that state of interdependency is difficult. Because it holds two truths simultaniously. The truth that we do have a level of control over our destiny, an ability to exert change in our world, or even in our own attitude, and the truth of our dependency, the acceptance that much is out of our control. And with this acknowledgement comes the ability or difficulty with reaching for and asking for help.
Again, in childhood, if we were taught that those who were supposed to care for us, are unavailable or unreliable, we can either form a habit of dependency, or a fear of our own vulnerability that creates in us a certain degree of discomfort or anxiety at our own sense of neediness. And to understand, to KNOW what has shaped us can help us to challenge beliefs that keep us in a unhealthy state relationally with God and others. Our caregivers, are flawed, but God is not. He is the one who is there He does not slumber or sleep. Whether we can sense it or not, Heis present, to meet our needs, to care for us and to put others in our path as agents of healing as they become his hands and feet, teaching us to trust in the availability and help that is available to us if we can request it, look for it, and reach for it. It is an act of courage to admit we have need, but it can heal deep wounds when we learn that we can rest in the care, love and help of a God who knows what we truly need and longs to provide it.
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