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  • Wendy Elzinga

Who holds your hand?

Updated: Nov 14

 For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand

and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. Isaiah 41:13



I am currently working through a certification course for Emotional focused Therapy by Dr.Sue Johnson. Additionally Dr. Johnson is the author of "Hold Me Tight -Seven conversations for a lifetime of Love" The Therapy is based in Attachment Theory. There is research that explores how infants attach to their caregivers, based on the the availablity, reliability and consitency of the caregiver. If children grow up "securely attached" They often have more successful relationships than those who grow up anxiously attached, avoidant (dismissive or fearful). If you are interested you can watch a short little video clip of these styles here.


We all go through life from infancy to our dying days longing to feel close and connected to someone who is there for us. We long for someone who holds us securely and lets us know "Everything is going to be ok." Those that have this kind of relationship are blessed. There is a research study out there in which adult females were put into a room and told that they would be intermittently shocked on their ankles. And then their brain activity was studied. Those who were alone or in the presence of a stranger showed a lot of brain activity in their amygdala-the part of the brain that registers fight or flight, or the emotions associated with anxiety. Those who were comforted by the presense of a secure loved one had much reduced activity. It seems that being in the presense of someone who is available, who loves us and is responsive to our needs helps to calm our fears.


But what if you don't have that? What if you are alone or with a partner you just cant trust? Oh but you can have that. Sometimes it is hard to visualize the truth about God, that he is trustworthy, He is good, and kind and secure and available. Especially if the attachment figures in your life were anything but. We tend to see God through the lens of our own experiences. But we can trust what His word says. So what can you do?


I suggest that you meditate on the above verse. Close your eyes and visualize that verse. A loving God, securely protecting you and holding your hand as a loving caring support figure. Some people visualize themselves as a child with Daddy and some see him as an adult such as a caring loving spouse. (He calls Himself both in scripture as well as friend) I believe our mind, body and spirit are connected. Here is an example of this- Imagine eating a lemon wedge, actually taste it...do you start to pucker? In the same way let God speak to your spirit, giving you a picture in your mind of Him gently holding you, protecting you, soothing you, and let your body relax in His strong, and comforting presence. Knowing that He is with you. And if this is difficult, pray that he put people, (His church, his hands and feet) in your life to give you new and fresh examples of trustworthy relationships.


"Hold me tight" It's a great book, it can strengthen your marriage and I recommend it. And I think it speaks to what we all universally want, love that is reliable, consistant, available and secure. And we were meant for that in the relationship we were meant to have with our Heavanly Father.


this is a delayed entry in the Five Minute Friday writing community.


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